Instead of complaining on bed, its good to discuss before sex. Apart from that, you can as well make little demands while you two go down!
1. Orgasms for all
If the person you’re sleeping with is a decent human, it’s likely that they really want you to orgasm.
Instead of internally rolling your eyes when they ask if you orgasmed from their five-minute performance of jackhammering you, take the lead, ask them to go down on you, use their hand, or whatever it is you want them to do to get yourself off. Even if it’s just them playing with your breasts while you touch yourself (because, let’s be honest, you’re better at it, but you want them to still feel involved). Just make sure that every sex session is totally equal when it comes to pleasure.
2. For them to stop doing that thing
Sometimes guys do things that really don’t feel good. It could be a terrible fingering technique or a bizarre desire to use their teeth while going down on you. Often we feel too awkward to say anything about it and just let them do their (terrible) thing. Sometimes we even pretend to enjoy it. There is a way to ‘correct’ them in a way that is kind and constructive. After all, if you had an awful habit that was ruining blow jobs for your partner, wouldn’t you want to know? No-one likes being criticised, so use positive language. Instead of ‘That feels bad’ try something like, ‘It hurts a bit when you suck down there. Could you use more tongue rather because that feels really good.’
3. More oral
Surprisingly, some men are still happy to receive but not give oral sex. There is no excuse for him not wanting to get you wet with his tongue. If he says he doesn’t like the taste, his mouth gets tired or your pubic hair gets in the way, he’s not the one, TBH. A good partner should be dying to go down on you.
4. More noise
It’s so unnerving for your partner to be totally silent during sex. It’s not necessary to make professional tennis player-level grunts in bed (although, that is fun too) but a little moaning and heavy breathing is hot. If they’re not getting the hint from your loud performance, give some gentle direction – something like, ‘There’s no-one home so we can be as loud as we want.’
5. Ask them to use your sex toy on you
There are two things men need to accept ASAP for you both to have better sex. Firstly, most women need to be stimulated on their clitoris for them to orgasm. Secondly, the stereotype is probably true and they suck at multitasking. Instead of your partner trying (and failing) to stimulate you with their hands while penetrating you, hand them your vibrator. It’s going to make everything so much more fun. Some men might take this as a personal attack on their skills, but they need to drop their ego and pick up the sex toy.
6. Weird stuff
Everyone has at least one kinda kinky thing they want to try but are too shy to ask for. We say just do it. Your partner should be open to trying anything that makes you happy (within reason). So if you’ve always fantasised about having a finger in your bum, or watching porn together or something way more kinky, just ask. If it doesn’t work, it makes for a funny story. And if it does work, it could be the beginning of a whole new sexual world for you
If the person you’re sleeping with is a decent human, it’s likely that they really want you to orgasm.
Instead of internally rolling your eyes when they ask if you orgasmed from their five-minute performance of jackhammering you, take the lead, ask them to go down on you, use their hand, or whatever it is you want them to do to get yourself off. Even if it’s just them playing with your breasts while you touch yourself (because, let’s be honest, you’re better at it, but you want them to still feel involved). Just make sure that every sex session is totally equal when it comes to pleasure.
2. For them to stop doing that thing
Sometimes guys do things that really don’t feel good. It could be a terrible fingering technique or a bizarre desire to use their teeth while going down on you. Often we feel too awkward to say anything about it and just let them do their (terrible) thing. Sometimes we even pretend to enjoy it. There is a way to ‘correct’ them in a way that is kind and constructive. After all, if you had an awful habit that was ruining blow jobs for your partner, wouldn’t you want to know? No-one likes being criticised, so use positive language. Instead of ‘That feels bad’ try something like, ‘It hurts a bit when you suck down there. Could you use more tongue rather because that feels really good.’
3. More oral
Surprisingly, some men are still happy to receive but not give oral sex. There is no excuse for him not wanting to get you wet with his tongue. If he says he doesn’t like the taste, his mouth gets tired or your pubic hair gets in the way, he’s not the one, TBH. A good partner should be dying to go down on you.
4. More noise
It’s so unnerving for your partner to be totally silent during sex. It’s not necessary to make professional tennis player-level grunts in bed (although, that is fun too) but a little moaning and heavy breathing is hot. If they’re not getting the hint from your loud performance, give some gentle direction – something like, ‘There’s no-one home so we can be as loud as we want.’
5. Ask them to use your sex toy on you
There are two things men need to accept ASAP for you both to have better sex. Firstly, most women need to be stimulated on their clitoris for them to orgasm. Secondly, the stereotype is probably true and they suck at multitasking. Instead of your partner trying (and failing) to stimulate you with their hands while penetrating you, hand them your vibrator. It’s going to make everything so much more fun. Some men might take this as a personal attack on their skills, but they need to drop their ego and pick up the sex toy.
6. Weird stuff
Everyone has at least one kinda kinky thing they want to try but are too shy to ask for. We say just do it. Your partner should be open to trying anything that makes you happy (within reason). So if you’ve always fantasised about having a finger in your bum, or watching porn together or something way more kinky, just ask. If it doesn’t work, it makes for a funny story. And if it does work, it could be the beginning of a whole new sexual world for you
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